It’s once again time to gather round the World Wide Web and let your favorite freeloading hippie bend your ear about his latest trials and tribulations. This time, and for all the times in the foreseeable future, at least on this website, the topic will be marriage and the costs associated therein. The point here is that marriage is fucking expensive, not only monetarily but physically and emotionally. It’s an investment of every possible kind. My hope, first and foremost, is that by writing about it I can help quell some of my own stress and anxiety, but if possible I’d like this site to become a resource for people to get advice, learn some things, and just in general know that if you have your shit together enough, your wedding and subsequent marriage can truly be a thing of beauty.
With all that introductory mush out of the way, let’s get to some stats. Forty to fifty percent of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. I could bore you all day with the nitty gritty details of divorce because if there’s one thing people love more than bad news, it’s the details surrounding it. #TMZforlife However, for the purposes of this site, I’ll just call attention to the deets that matter. For example, couples that argue about finances once a week or more are 30% more likely to get divorced. Feelings that one spouse spends money foolishly increases the risk of divorce by 45%. Those are heavy numbers. I’ve always considered myself an astute saver (see above “freeloading hippie”) and a willing educator to anyone who wants to have a little more jingle in their pocket at the end of the day but damn if those numbers don’t make my butthole pucker.
Having said that, let’s get focused. Step 1 is the wedding. Well actually, step one is getting on the same page with your spouse and realizing how many guests each of you is bringing to the party. Student loans, car payments, and past due library fines are all things to know about sooner rather than later. It’s not all bad though. Yearly bonuses, work from home options, and considerable salaries are also very real possibilities, none more righteous than the other. The point is, they don’t teach you this shit in school. Let’s all pause for a moment and think about all the things we’d rather know than what the capital of Vermont is… and now if you’d bring your attention back to the front of the class, we’re moving on.
From here on out I’m going to keep it as simple as I can and share with you the experiences that my fiancé and I enjoy as we plan our wedding. Pro tip: if you recently got engaged, tell your fiancé that the word “fiancé” is actually a German word. Then, instead of the phonetic fee-on-say, pronounce it fee-on-throaty/phlegmy/German sound of your choosing. Pull it off with a straight face and thank me later.
Anyway, here’s where we sit. We both work good jobs and collectively do well for ourselves. We have some student loan debt, credit card debt, and car loans to consider. We live in Minnesota which, surprise surprise, is actually the most highly income-taxed state in America. We’re paying for the wedding ourselves and have decided that we’d like to buy a house in the next year. I’ll stop here to say we’re fully aware that all of our financial mountains to summit are self-imposed. We’ve received some monetary gifts from family that will certainly help the cause. If any of those particular family members are reading this, THANK YOU!!! At this point we’re in a position of needing to save pretty aggressively for the next year in order to be able to do everything we want to do.
So there it is boys and girls. Moving forward with this site we’ll be sharing best practices for saving money, stories of successes and failures in the hopes of giving others a heads up or at least a laugh, and if you’d all be so kind, we’ll make this a kind of gathering place for the frugally inclined, regardless of marital status.
A final note: This site is not the prettiest right now. I’m working on it.